Going steady is when two romantic partners agree to an exclusive relationship. Growing in prevalence in the United States after World War II, this pattern became mainstream in high schools and colleges in the 1950s. Its popularity continued through the 1980s, with teenagers beginning to go steady at progressively earlier ages. However, the label "going steady" fell into disuse in the 1970s.
Definitions
A survey of college students in 1955 found a distinction between "going steadily" with someone, which indicated dating the same person repeatedly, and "going steady" which indicated a formalized or explicit agreement. Going steady often involved an exchange of clothing or jewelry which would be worn to announce the state of the relationship. The custom of a college man giving a woman his fraternity pin led to the colloquial term of "getting pinned", meaning "engaged to be engaged".
Sociologists include group recognition of the couple's status as part of the definition of going steady. Another researcher defined it as "the stage when both partners come to a mutual implicit understanding that dating will exclude others."
From playing the field to going steady
right|thumb|Going steady was a theme in adolescent and [[Young adult romance literature|young-adult novels of the 1950s and 1960s.]]
Before World War II, high school and college students generally dated multiple people, colloquially called "playing the field". Dating patterns involved variety and competition, and multiple partners were a signal of popularity. Sociologists characterize this form of dating as "competitive". although later researchers question whether Waller's observations reflected as widespread a pattern as he implied and note that some individuals chose to pair off exclusively before it became the style.
Steady dating began to supplant casual dating in the 1940s. High school students were expected to enter committed heterosexual relationships or become socially marginalized.
A study in the 1950s found that three-fourths of the girls and more than half of the boys in grades 11 and 12 had gone steady, many for a year or longer. A study in the 1980s of high school in Connecticut found 81% of girls and almost 70% of boys had gone steady. Sexual experimenting outside of the steady relationship had the consequence of being labelled promiscuous. Friends and acquaintances recognized the relationship and had expectations of acceptable behavior when going steady. For example, when one cannot attend an event, the other is expected to be absent as well. Other boys should not ask the girl out, and the girl should not date or flirt with other boys. Some parochial schools forbid the practice after Catholic leaders declared "going steady is a proximate occasion of sin". and a column in Boys' Life discussed the issue.
The primary concern with going steady was the perception that it would lead to greater intimacy and sexual experimentation than casual dating. According to Breines, "Although the social scientific surveys indicate little evidence of a dramatic increase in sexual intercourse among teenagers in the postwar period, adults believed there was such an increase." A 2004 study also found that the majority of adolescents first have sex when going steady. Studies conflict on whether going steady had more association with use of birth control or less. Littauer states "Being in love and going steady was more significant to a young woman's decision to have sex than was class, education, religion, or any other factor." Experts warned that going steady would limit one to inadequate experience getting to know different people and could result in bad choices. A YWCA publication said a steady relationship would "reduce your opportunities for knowing other congenial people whom you might enjoy."
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Year
! Had gone steady
! Age first went steady
! Mean number of partners ever dated
|-
| 1958
| 68%
| 17.0
| 53
|-
| 1968
| 77%
| 16.7
| 25
|-
| 1978
| 85%
| 15.9
| 14
|}
See also
- History of courtship in the United States
- Hookup culture