Etiquette in Japan

thumb|[[Geiko]]

Etiquette in Japan forms common societal expectations of social behavior practiced throughout the nation of Japan. The etiquette of Japan has changed greatly over the millennia as different civilizations influenced its culture. Modern Japanese etiquette has a strong influence from that of China and the Western world, but retains many of its unique traditional elements.

Bathing

thumb|right|A private in a

Bathing is an important part of the daily routine in Japan, where bath tubs are for relaxing, not cleaning the body. Therefore, the body must be cleaned and scrubbed before entering the bathtub or . This is done in the same room as the tub, while seated on a small stool and using a hand-held shower. Soap, a wash cloth, and shampoo are provided, and the bather is expected to wash and rinse thoroughly twice before stepping into the . It is very important that no soap residue be transferred to the because the heated water is not drained after each person's use, and several hours (and the expense of a considerable amount of water) are required to heat fresh water. Any hair or debris is scooped from the water after the bath, and a lid is placed over the tub to maintain the water temperature and prevent evaporation. Water heaters also continue to maintain the temperature.

baths have a small anteroom for undressing before entering the bathing room. Usually there is a basket in which to place used towels and wash cloths.

Bowing

thumb|Bowing

thumb|Bowing in the tatami room

is probably the feature of Japanese etiquette that is best known outside Japan. Bowing is extremely important: although children normally begin learning how to bow at a very young age, companies commonly train their employees precisely how they are to bow.

Basic bows are performed by bending from the waist with the back and neck straight, hands at the sides (males) or clasped at the lap (females), and eyes looking down. The body is composed but not rigid. Generally, the longer and deeper the bow, the stronger the emotion and respect expressed.

The three main types of bows are informal, formal, and very formal. Informal bows are made at about a fifteen-degree angle or just tilt over one's head to the front, and more formal bows at about thirty degrees. Very formal bows are deeper. The tray should not be confused with the North American "Take a penny, leave a penny" tray for small change. Tipping is also generally a rare occurrence in Japan, and typically should not be attempted without the use of an envelope.

Eating and drinking

thumb|A boy saying before eating, which is common practice according to Japanese etiquette

Meals in Japan traditionally begin with the word . Similar to bon appétit or saying grace, it expresses gratitude for all who played a role in providing the food, including farmers, as well as the living organisms that gave their life to become part of the meal. Saying before a meal has been described as both a secular and a religious practice.

Upon finishing a meal, the Japanese use the polite phrase . In response, the preparer often says .

It is not rude to have leftovers on the plate, as it is taken as a signal to the host that one wishes to be served another helping. Conversely, finishing one's meal completely, especially the rice, indicates that one is satisfied and therefore does not wish to be served any more. Children are especially encouraged to eat every last grain of rice (see also as Buddhist philosophy). It is impolite to pick out certain ingredients and leave the rest. It is expected to chew with the mouth closed.

It is acceptable to lift soup and rice bowls to the mouth so one does not spill food. Miso soup is drunk directly from its (small) bowl. Larger soups and those with chunky ingredients such as ramen may come with a spoon to be used in conjunction with chopsticks. Noodles from hot soup are often blown on (once lifted from the soup) to cool them before eating; and it is appropriate to slurp certain foods, especially ramen or soba noodles. Some consider it rude to eat in public, but this is not a universally held aversion.

In Japanese restaurants, customers are given a rolled hand towel called . It is considered rude to use the towel to wipe the face or neck; however, some people, usually men, do this at more informal restaurants. Non-woven towelettes are replacing the cloth .

In any situation, an uncertain diner can observe what others are doing; for non-Japanese people to ask how to do something properly is also generally received with appreciation for the acknowledgment of cultural differences and expression of interest in learning Japanese ways. There are many traditions and unwritten rules surrounding the use of chopsticks. For example, it is considered particularly taboo to pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, as this is how bones are handled by the family of the deceased after a cremation. If one must pass food to someone else during a meal (a questionable practice in public), the person picks up the food by reversing the chopsticks to use the end which were not in direct contact with the handler's mouth, and place it on a small plate, allowing the recipient to retrieve it (with the recipient's own chopsticks). If no other utensils are available while sharing plates of food, the ends of the chopsticks are used to retrieve the shared food. Mismatched chopsticks are not used. Standing chopsticks vertically in a bowl of rice is avoided, as it recalls burning incense sticks standing up in sand, typically at funerals; the act of stabbing the chopsticks into the food resembles an action devout Buddhists perform when offering ceremonial food to their ancestors at the household shrine. Placing chopsticks so that they point at someone else is considered a symbolic threat.

Many Japanese restaurants provide diners with single-use wooden/bamboo chopsticks that are snapped apart near their tops (which are thicker than the bottoms). As a result, the attachment area may produce small splinters. Rubbing chopsticks together to remove splinters is considered impolite, implying that one thinks the utensils are cheap.

Wooden geta are provided for short walks outside when entering the house. It is generally considered polite to wear shoes instead of sandals, but sandal wearers may carry a pair of white socks to put over their bare feet or stockings, so that their bare feet will not touch the slippers that the host offers, or they may use tabi socks, worn with the sandals. The shoes are turned around so that the toe faces the door after taking them off. During the winter time, if a guest is wearing a coat or hat, the guest will remove the coat or hat before the host opens the door. When the guest is leaving, they do not put on the coat or hat until the door has closed.

Regarding seating arrangements, see .

Gifts and gift-giving

thumb|¥10000 (approx. US$100) [[Cucumis melo|melon, carefully cultivated and selected for its lack of imperfections, intended as a gift in the Japanese custom of gift-giving]]

Many people will ask a guest to open a gift, but if they do not, the recipient will resist the urge to ask if they can open the gift. Since the act of accepting a gift can create a sense of unfulfilled obligation on the part of the receiver, gifts are sometimes refused, depending on the situation. However, refusing a gift from someone of a higher rank can be considered rude, and is usually frowned upon.

For wedding gifts, mirrors and ceramic wares as well as glassware, scissors and knives are not appropriate gifts because of the symbolism of breaking up or cutting the relationship, respectively. Clocks and other timepieces are also avoided, as they may be seen as symbolic of the relationship fading with the passage of time.

As a gift for a new home or a newly opened shop, anything that brings to mind fire or arson is avoided, including an ashtray, stove, heater or cigarette lighter, unless the intended recipient specifically requests it. If the recipient is older than the giver, or for those celebrating , shoes and socks are considered "to stamp on" the person.

Other gifts

Another custom in Japan is for women to give men chocolate on Valentine's Day. The chocolate can be given to the object of the woman's affection, or to any man the woman is connected to. The latter is called . Men who receive chocolate on Valentine's Day give something back to those they received from, one month later on White Day.

Greetings

Greetings are considered to be of extreme importance in Japanese culture. Students in elementary and secondary schools are often admonished to deliver greetings with energy and vigor. A lazy greeting is regarded with the type of disdain that would accompany a limp handshake in parts of the West.

The most common greetings are or "good morning", used until about 11:00a.m. but may be used at any time of day. If it is the first occasion that day the two people have met, is used, which is roughly equivalent to "good day" or "good afternoon" and is used until late afternoon; and or "good evening". Different forms of these greetings may be used depending on the relative social statuses of the speaker and the listener.

Letters and postcards

Titles

The titles for people are -chan (most often for female close friends, young girls or infants of either gender), -kun (most often for male close friends, or young boys), -san (for adults in general) and -sama (for customers, and also used for feudal lords, gods or buddhas).

Letter addresses, even those sent to close friends, are normally written in quite formal language. Unless some other title is available (sensei, for example, which can mean "doctor" or "professor" among other things) the standard title used with the addressee's name is the very formal -sama (様). Letters addressed to a company take the title after the company name. It is also considered important to mention in the address if the company is incorporated (kabushiki gaisha) or limited (yūgen gaisha). When a letter is addressed to a company employee at their place of work, the address contains the full name of the place of work, as well as the title of the employee's position, and the full name of the employee.

Respectful language

There is an entire grammatical rule-set for speaking respectfully to superiors, customers, etc., and this plays a large part in good etiquette and in society as a whole. Japanese children are taught to act harmoniously and cooperatively with others from the time they go to pre-school.

This need for harmonious relationships between people is reflected in much Japanese behavior. Many place great emphasis on politeness, personal responsibility and working together for the universal, rather than the individual, good. They present disagreeable facts in a gentle and indirect fashion. They see working in harmony as the crucial ingredient for working productively.

Service and public employees

Japan is frequently cited by non-Japanese as a place where service is excellent. Such claims are difficult, if not impossible, to quantify. Nevertheless, service at public establishments such as restaurants, drinking places, shops and services is generally friendly, attentive and very polite, as reflected in a common reminder given by managers and employers to their employees: "okyaku-sama wa kami-sama desu" (), or "the customer is a god." (This is comparable to the western saying, "the customer is always right" and the Sanskrit saying "atithi devo bhavati"). Generally, service employees will seldom engage in casual conversation with a customer with the aim of forming a rapport as sometimes happens in western cultures. The service employees are expected to maintain a more formal, professional relationship with all customers. Private conversations among service staff are considered inappropriate when a customer is near.

In general, as in most countries, etiquette dictates that the customer is treated with reverence. In Japan this means that employees speak in a humble and deferential manner and use respectful forms of language that elevate the customer. Thus, customers are typically addressed with the title –sama (roughly equivalent to "sir" or "madam" in English). A customer is not expected to reciprocate this level of politeness to a server.

Dress for employees is normally neat and formal, depending on the type and style of establishment. Public employees such as police officers, taxi drivers, and the pushers whose job is to ensure that as many people as possible board the rush-hour trains—and other types of employees who must touch people—often wear white gloves.

Funerals

thumb|The design of a traditional kōden-bukuro, usually for amounts below 5,000 yen

People attending a Japanese funeral bring money called kōden either in special funeral offering envelopes kōden-bukuro or small plain white envelopes. Of the kōden-bukuro, the folded end at the bottom is be placed under the top fold, as the opposite or the bottom fold over the top one suggests that bad luck will become a series of misfortunes. Formally, there is a small bag called in which a person puts the envelope and brings to the funeral.

Special birthdays

Seven, five, three: Shichi-go-san () is an event held on November 15 for children of these ages. Pronounced hatachi.
Sixty: The sixtieth birthday is the occasion of kanreki, , when five cycles of the Chinese zodiac have completed.
Seventy-seven: The seventy-seventh birthday is the occasion of kiju , "happy age", because the Chinese character 喜 written in cursive style looks like the characters for seventy-seven (七十七). Cards are not tossed across the table or held out casually with one hand. Cards are accepted with both hands and studied for a moment, then set carefully on the table in front of the receiver's seat or placed in a business card holder with a smile. If needed, one may ask how to pronounce someone's name at this juncture. When meeting a group of people, cards can be put in front of the receiver on the table for reference during the conversation or immediately placed in the receiver's card holder. Cards are never put in one's pocket or wallet, nor written on in the presence of the other person. This attention to business card etiquette is intended to show respect.

References

External links

Japanese Culture, Customs, Business Practices & Etiquette
Japan – Language, Culture, Customs and Etiquette
Western Style Weddings in Japan
Public bathing etiquette in Japan
Japanese Business Etiquette Guide
Illustrated Guide to Sushi Etiquette
Japan Intercultural Consulting: Japanese Business Etiquette Guide