Erotic sexual denial is a form of sexual activity whereby sexual gratification for one or both partners is delayed or "denied" in order to increase erotic arousal and/or tension. It is commonly used as sex play within the context of a dominance and submission relationship, though it can also be a solo practice. When used in the context of dominance and submission, the dominant partner is often encouraged to prioritize their own sexual pleasure over that of their submissive partner. The submissive partner receives gratification from providing sexual pleasure to their partner and from the feelings of vulnerability and tension that come from having their own sexual pleasure controlled by another. The prohibited sexual experience can be narrowly or broadly defined for a specific or indeterminate length of time, depending on the practitioner. The experience withheld can be any favored or desired sexual activities, such as specific acts or positions, provided it is something the practitioner wants.
Orgasm control practices like edging are well-known varieties of erotic sexual denial in which a person is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm. Edging often ends with a delayed orgasm, unlike the similar practice of orgasm denial which typically does not lead to orgasm. Chastity devices such as penile chastity cages, cock harnesses or chastity belts can be used as a physical barrier to restrict an individual's ability to self-pleasure during periods of sexual denial.
Though not necessary to practice tease and denial, some practitioners find that these devices heighten feelings of submissiveness and empowerment between partners. This is similar to orgasm control, but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a "ruined orgasm", as opposed to being a "denied orgasm" (which can sometimes lead to epididymal hypertension for both men and women). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction ("blocked orgasm"). Subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
Total denial
The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation to the penis or vulva. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device, such as a chastity belt or cage. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for all genders.
As a form of control
Erotic sexual denial is sometimes used by a dominant as a form of control over a submissive. Because the submissive is kept in a state of higher arousal and vulnerability, they may be more likely to take a compliant stance with the dominant. Failure to comply may result in additional teasing or an extended period of denial, among other punishments.
Orgasm denial practices can allow the dominant to exercise control over many aspects of the submissive's life. As such, they are often (though not always) practiced as an extension or enhancement of a broader BDSM relationship, or as a means of establishing one. They can allow the dominant to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power, and the submissive can enjoy intense feelings of sexual submission to the dominant.
Orgasm denial can also be used to increase a submissive's tolerance for physical stimulation, as training in holding back an orgasm, or to allow the submissive to orgasm on command; as a way to maintain a heightened state of sexual arousal in the submissive, or as a means of erotic humiliation desired by either the submissive or the dominant.
Erotic humiliation can also help enforce the dominants' position in the relationship. Orgasm denial is often accompanied by other forms of erotic humiliation such as forcing the submissive to do chores, crossdress, or consume bodily fluids. These can be used as punishments, as conditions for release, or simply at the discretion of the dominant.
Gallery
<gallery widths="200" heights="200">
File:Plastic chastity cage.jpg|A commonly used type of chastity cage made of plastic
File:Keuschheit.jpg|Pierced inner labia with chastity piercing
File:Integrated Lock Chastity Device.jpg|A metal type cock cage, using an integrated lock instead of the standard padlock
File:Carrara female.jpg|Female chastity belt
File:Sissy Wearing Chastity Cage.jpg|"Sissy" wearing chastity device
File:Oetang chastity.jpg|Penis with Chastity piercing
File:Male Chastity Cage Custom.jpg|A custom 3D printed chastity cage
File:Prince Albert Piercing Secured Chastity Device.jpg|A chastity cage with an integrated chastity piercing hook
</gallery>
See also
- Coitus reservatus
- Cuckold fetishism
- Cuckquean
- Dominatrix
- Erotic humiliation
- Eroto-comatose lucidity — a form of erotic sexual denial
- Forced feminization
- Forced orgasm
References
Further reading
- Georgia Ivey Green, A KeyHolder's Handbook, Georgia Ivey Green, 2013, ISBN 978–1493595372
- Georgia Ivey Green, Ultimate Guide to Tease and Denial, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2015, ISBN 978–1517362140
- Ken Addison, Around Her Finger, Venus, 2004
- Lucy Fairbourne, Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders, Velluminous Press, 2015
- Elise Sutton, Female Domination, LULU, 2003
- Barbara Wright Abernathy, Venus on Top, Oakhill Press, 2010
- Georgeann Cross, Sexual Power for Women, Georgeann Cross, 1997