thumb|upright|1921 illustration of [[female submission. The male is clothed while the female is naked and waiting on corporal punishment being administered on her. The art is by Georges Topfer from his work Le rêve d’un flagellant ('The Dream of a Flagellant').]]

Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people. while the term maledom is used for a sexually dominant male in BDSM practices.

History

The dominant–submissive relationship fits within the overarching term BDSM and its lifestyle. BDSM stands for "bondage and discipline" (B&D), "domination and submission" (D&S), and "sadism and masochism" (S&M).

It is possible that this community of BDSM participants was formed in the early 18th century, and maybe even before. For example, the dominant–submissive partnership has been shown in early versions of the Kama Sutra.

The relationship between a dominant and submissive revolves around consent and guidelines. Within the world of BDSM, consent is a core focus and requirement because it is what separates sexual sadism from coercive sexual sadism disorder in the DSM-5. Sexual sadism disorder and sexual masochism disorder have been changed in order to differentiate between consensual and non consensual partners. As well as meeting the new criteria to be classified as one or the other, for example, the person being diagnosed must be experiencing personal distress about their paraphilia rather than distress coming from society's disapproval. The growth of dominant and submissive behavior, sadomasochism, and other BDSM activity is evident through its history, from ancient times through the separation from disorder to consensual-community participant.

Overview

Dominance and submission have a long history in human culture and civilization. In human sexuality, this has broadened to include voluntarily chosen roles and activities that express dominance and submission. The proportion of the population which partakes in D/s activities is difficult to ascertain as the statistics vary widely depending on the particular study, date of publication, and country where the research has taken place.

A 1985 study suggested that about 30 percent of participants in BDSM activities are females, and the rest are males. A study by the California Graduate Institute in 2008 found that 61 percent of men were exclusively or mainly dominant (26 percent were exclusively or mainly submissive), while 69 percent of women were exclusively or mainly submissive (30 percent were exclusively or mainly dominant).

A study in 2008 found that only 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women had participated in a BDSM activity in the previous year. In 2017, a Belgian study of BDSM interest in the general population, with a sample size of 1,027, found that 46.8% of the total sample had ever performed at least one BDSM-related activity. An additional 22% had fantasized about it, and 12.5% performed at least one BDSM-related activity on a regular basis.

A 2019 publication states that a minority of the population engages or fantasizes about BDSM activity. A scene between two switches can involve trading off the dominant and submissive roles, possibly several times. In contrast, the terms top and bottom refer to the active (agent) and passive (patient) roles, respectively. In a given scene, there is no requirement that the dominant also be the top, or that the submissive be the bottom, although this is often the case.

The term vanilla refers to normative ("non-kinky") sex and relationships, the vanilla world being mainstream society outside of the BDSM subculture. The term comes from vanilla ice cream being considered the "default" flavor.

  • resistance play – forcing the submissive to do something against their will as an intense form of power play
  • domestic servitude or consensual slavery
  • enforced chastity of the submissive
  • sexual slavery
  • fetishes – such as foot fetish, boot worship, uniforms, smoking, latex and other items can be fetishes.
  • humiliation (breast humiliation for its size and shape, clitoris and labia size humiliation, humiliation for not having curvy or big buttocks and hips, small penis humiliation, verbal humiliation)
  • dehumanization
  • feminization
  • cuckold
  • bondage (sexual)
  • public humiliation

Safety

There are some risks commonly associated with D/s concerning both physical and mental health. Some examples are:

  • Physical health complications such as bruising, broken skin, nerve damage due to tight bondage, burns due to hot wax play, or blood-borne pathogen exposure during needle play.
  • In rare cases, death may occur when the participants engage in activities that have the potential to cause serious physical injury. The most common activity associated with accidental death is erotic strangulation. A study by Bunzel et al. showed that between 1993 and 2017 more death occurred from auto-erotic activities than from partnered activities, and men were more likely to die in both cases than women.
  • Negative emotional states during or after partaking in D/s activities

thumb|Artwork depicting a female dominant performing bondage on her male submissive

Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. Some employ a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a simple verbal commitment is sufficient.

After a slave contract is drafted, some celebrate the event with a "collaring ceremony", in which the local D/s community is invited to witness the commitment made in the document. Some ceremonies become quite elaborate, and can be as involved as a wedding or any similar ritual.

Equipment and accessories

Some people maintain a special room or area, called a dungeon or playroom, that contains special equipment, such as shackles, handcuffs, whips, queening stools, and spanking benches or a Berkley horse, for example, used for play scenes, or they may visit a BDSM club that maintains such facilities.

Collars

Many submissives in a submissive relationship wear a collar to indicate their submissive status and commitment. It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one. The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed, and even crafted by the dominant partner. Some subs may wear a "symbolic collar", often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in non-BDSM situations. It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions. Collars are integral for animal roleplay.

Many people—for example, some in the punk rock and goth subcultures—wear collars for other reasons, such as fashion. So, one cannot assume that all people wearing collars are involved in BDSM. Members of the furry fandom may also wear collars as a part of costuming or as fashion. Use of collars in the sexual aspects of furry lifestyle may or may not be connected to BDSM, depending on the individual's preferences.

Art and culture

Literature

One of the most famous works in this area is Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus im Pelz (Venus in Furs, 1869), in which the protagonist, Severin, persuades a woman, Wanda, to take him on as her slave, serves her, and allows her to degrade him. The book has elements of both social and physical submission, and is the genesis of the term "masochism" coined by the 19th-century psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing.

thumb|Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and Fanny Pistor (Baroness Bogdanoff)

Classic writers

  • Marquis de Sade
  • Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

Fiction writers

Non-fiction writers

Music

  • The Rolling Stones song "Under my Thumb" (Mick Jagger, 1966) is supposedly about a D/s relationship.
  • The Velvet Underground's song "Venus in Furs" (1967) is based on Sacher-Masoch's novel and discusses sadomasochism, the character Severin, and common bondage practices in a detached, objective, and non-judgmental manner.
  • Depeche Mode's song "Master and Servant" (1984) depicts a master and servant relationship.
  • The Green Day song "All By Myself/Dominated Love Slave" (written and sung by Tré Cool, 1994) describes Cool's feelings for female dominance.
  • The Rihanna song "S&M" (2010) denotes the artist's arousal in BDSM play.
  • Dwele's "Obey" (2012) is a neo soul song based on the mind of a Dominant in a D/s relationship.
  • The Run The Jewels song "Love Again (Akinyele Back)" is a 2014 hip-hop release with verses about sexual dominance by Killer Mike, El-P and Gangsta Boo.
  • The AKB48 song "Juujun na Slave" (2014) describes the singer's role as the submissive in a lesbian relationship.
  • The DNCE song "Be Mean" (2016) is written about the artist's desire to be dominated.
  • The KPOP group VIXX is known for its BDSM-inspired album Chained Up.
  • The Blue Öyster Cult song "Dominance and Submission" suggests sexual interaction to take place in the back of a vehicle, the singer conflicting between dominating or submitting

Films

  • Venus in Furs (1967) Directed by Joseph Marzano (written by Joseph Marzano, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch). A submissive (masochist) discovers (or creates) a reluctant Sadist. Long, examining scenes depicting what is for the submissive to wait in solitude or in transitory. Sadist gives the masochist the "ultimate gift" in the end.
  • The Night Porter (1974) Directed by Liliana Cavani. Thirteen years after WWII a concentration camp survivor and her tormentor, currently the night porter at a Vienna hotel, meet again and fall back into their sado-masochistic relationship.
  • 9½ Weeks (1986) Directed by Adrian Lyne. Based on a book by the same name. Popular for its "You Can Leave Your Hat On" scene.
  • 'Body of Evidence' (1993) Directed by Uli Edel. A woman on trial for murdering a submissive lover is lusted after by her lawyer, who she manipulates, sexually dominates and humiliates.
  • Preaching to the Perverted (1997) Directed by Stuart Urban. A female dominant/Dominatrix movie depicting the London S&M scene.
  • Secretary (2002) Directed by Steven Shainberg. Widely regarded as the first mainstream film to depict D/s relationship issues.
  • (2006) A German film directed by Angelina Maccarone about a sadomasochistic femdom relationship between a probation officer and her client, sixteen-year-old delinquent Jan.
  • Venus in Fur (2013) A femdom themed movie, directed by Roman Polanski, and based on the play of the same name by David Ives. An actress comes to audition for a play with the director. As the audition progresses, she escalates her discussion with the direction into an act of psychological and erotic domination, ultimately directing him to act and punishing him for his behavior.
  • The Duke of Burgundy (2014) Directed by Peter Strickland. A woman who studies butterflies and moths tests the limits of her relationship with her lover.
  • Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) Directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson with a screenplay by Kelly Marcel, based on the novel of the same name by E. L. James.
  • Sanctuary (2022) An American dark comedy psychological thriller film directed by Zachary Wigon from a screenplay by Micah Bloomberg. Hal (Christopher Abbott) attempts to end his secret relationship with dominatrix Rebecca (Margaret Qualley).
  • Babygirl (2024) Written, directed, and produced by Halina Reijn. The film stars Nicole Kidman as a high-powered CEO who puts her career and family on the line when she begins an affair with a much younger intern (Harris Dickinson).

See also

Based on gender of the dominant or submissive:

  • Female dominance
  • Female submission
  • Male dominance
  • Male submission

References

Further reading

  • Baldwin, Guy (2002). SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude — Principles, Skills and Tools. Daedelus Publishing Co. .
  • Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs (1993). Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. New York: Villard Books. .
  • Califia, Patrick, (1993). Sensuous Magic. New York, Masquerade Books. .
  • Henryson, Dean (2014). Girl Fighting Exposed. Createspace. .
  • Masters, Peter (2009) The Control Book. CreateSpace. .
  • Masters, Peter (2008). This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM. The Nazca Plains Corporation. .
  • Katherine Ramsland. The Anne Rice Reader. Ballantine Books, 1997. . How Do They Rate? Elliot Slater and Lasher as Love Slaves, contributing author, Claudia Varrin
  • Rinella, Jack (1994). The Master's Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance. Daedelus Publishing Co. .
  • Rinella, Jack (2002). The Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle. Daedelus Publishing Co. .
  • Saez, Fernando and Viñuales, Olga, (2007). Armarios de Cuero, Ediciones Bellaterra.
  • Claudia Varrin (2000), Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women. Birch Lane Press. .
  • Claudia Varrin (2003). Erotic Surrender: The Sensual Joys of Female Submission. Citadel Press. .
  • Claudia Varrin, (2004). Female Dominance: Rituals and Practices. Citadel Press. .
  • Claudia Varrin, (2005). The Female Dominant: Games She Plays. Citadel Press. .
  • Claudia Varrin, (2006). Female Submission: The Journals of Madelaine. Citadel Press. .
  • Claudia Varrin, (2006). Dominación Sensual Edicions Bellaterra. .
  • Claudia Varrin, (2006). Die Kunst der weiblichen Dominanz. Schwarzkopf & Schwarzkopf , .
  • Claudia Varrin, (2007). Die Kunst der weiblichen Unterwerfung. Schwarzkopf & Schwarzkopf.
  • Rajan Dominari, (2019). Welcome to the Darkside: A BDSM Primer. AKO Publishing Company.